Poetry: “An Elegy for Earnestness” by Meher Manda

An Elegy for Earnestness

When I was only a girl, my mother thought it was safer to let me piss 
over the platform, on to the tracks, than to let my small body titter 
off-balance in the undulating train toilet on a long journey — 
which meant my humiliation was discreet yet public. No one 
batted an eye. Adults watched me like I was the most obvious outcome 
of this world. From my squatted level, the ground looked capable 
of being peed on and so I peed on it. When I would un-squat, 
every drop of urine surrendered, my mother would bend to my eye-level 
and ask me “all done?” And I’d say yes and mean it. After dinner was had 
on paper plates, mother would ask me “enough?” And I’d say yes and 
mean it. Before bed, when mother would goad me to sing a song for the other travelers,
I would gladly sing a love song and mean every word. Adults watched me 
like I was the most obvious outcome — my restless desire for community 
a natural occurrence. No one batted an eye at the lyrics of a tease. 

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About Meher Manda

Meher Manda is a writer, culture critic, editor, and educator, fully formed in Bombay, India, though currently stationed in The U S of A. She's the author of the poetry chapbook Busted Models (No, Dear / Small Anchor, 2019) and her work has been published in The Margins, Los Angeles Review, Catapult, Epiphany, Kweli, Cosmonauts Avenue, and elsewhere. A Best New Poets and Best of the Net Anthology nominee, she is currently at work on her debut short story collection and collaborating on a political graphic novel forthcoming from Hachette India. Her writing wrestles with the tensions that splinter the self from state / woman from body / singular from spectacle / guttural from ordinary.