Sex, Kink, and the Erotic: “Self Portrait as Fuck” by Karen Zheng

Self Portrait as Fuck

After Justin Chin

Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck her. Fuck him.
I am steeping tea. Jasmine Green Tea.
Fuck tea. I touch this burning water,
liquid down my fingers.
I lick them
dry. There is nothing
wrong. Really, nothing.

The other day, thirty minutes from my
house somebody went in some
body’s house and fucked around with a gun and then
the gun fucked around with its bullets and then
the bullets fucked around in these people’s bodies.
Opening was never something this painful.
Stretch the skin below.
But opening is not entering,
the bullets fucked around with entering
their bodies are like my body.
I could fuck them.

I still fuck myself alone
in my bedroom, curtains drawn,
door locked, airpods in, only one ear though
just in case. Fuck me fuck you.
Opening.
Smear my tea.
Burn the opening.
Drink from it.

About Karen Zheng

Karen Zheng is a first-generation, queer, Chinese-American undergraduate student studying English and Creative Writing (poetry). Her poetry has been featured in dear asian youth, Emerson Review, I2, The Wave, and Red Pocket Magazine, and her prose has been featured in NextShark, overachiever Magazine, and This Asian American Life. In her free time, she hosts the Mx. Asian American podcast.