Valentines: “bathroom stereo/listen to music in the shower for clear skin” by Dynas Johnson
bathroom stereo/listen to music in the shower for clear skin
tears melting down the drain let’s play something i can sway to imagine shouting to a tobi lou song
in the morning or moonwalking to a bts jam at 2am no one's watching so i go
shoulders lose knees free just hit the wolly woop wrap myself in steam and boil this lukewarm dream within a dream within the largest joke i’ve tasted
with my own tongue it tastes like licorice not my palette at all i crave day’s soda i crave stir fry i crave your love inside a cream filled pastry inside strawberry milk inside of all my sleepiest fears you’d wake them up in the middle of the night and tell them to leave i wouldn’t have to wait until morning to feel safe* * *
in the morning or moonwalking to a bts jam at 2am no one's watching so i go
shoulders lose knees free just hit the wolly woop wrap myself in steam and boil this lukewarm dream within a dream within the largest joke i’ve tasted
with my own tongue it tastes like licorice not my palette at all i crave day’s soda i crave stir fry i crave your love inside a cream filled pastry inside strawberry milk inside of all my sleepiest fears you’d wake them up in the middle of the night and tell them to leave i wouldn’t have to wait until morning to feel safe
i like honey and sugar and stardust something with some powerpuff zing
can we save the day? can we save the day? can we save
the pain for another day?
i want to see black girls smiling
and i don’t want no “despite of...” captions underneath their faces i want to see black girls smiling
i want to see latte pics and twerking and hand-holding and going to church and parties and planetariums and aquariums places where we touch God places where there’s only the glow of each other’s joy
i want i want i want—
can we save the day? can we save the day? can we save
the pain for another day?
i want to see black girls smiling
and i don’t want no “despite of...” captions underneath their faces i want to see black girls smiling
i want to see latte pics and twerking and hand-holding and going to church and parties and planetariums and aquariums places where we touch God places where there’s only the glow of each other’s joy
i want i want i want—
***
we’re smiling and yes
you’ve been walking amongst angels this entire time how does it feel to see magical girls in real life? do you taste the powdered sugar and spice? if not
then close your eyes shampoo your hair and rinse it out no scrubs or angy vibes right now let’s hum along to the sounds of old cartoons kid laughter anime endings things that made us smile gave us a template
for memory now i want to make a song for today and tomorrow do you have genres you prefer? languages? i can dance to anything that can expand my dreamscape
i daydream about living in southwest philly with my best friends in a house full of dogs and cats and plants and
herbs
i daydream about having a job that makes me feel like happiness is more than money but can be achieved without
going without sleep for something i don’t believe in
i daydream about us but i want to hear your dreams first so i can see if we have similar color palettes
i want to paint every day and night with our summer shades: honeyed sunlight skin because like i said
we’re glow in the dark and even prettier in daylight even prettier when survival isn’t a question
even prettier when we don’t have to explain ourselves to people who see us as ghosts
you’ve been walking amongst angels this entire time how does it feel to see magical girls in real life? do you taste the powdered sugar and spice? if not
then close your eyes shampoo your hair and rinse it out no scrubs or angy vibes right now let’s hum along to the sounds of old cartoons kid laughter anime endings things that made us smile gave us a template
for memory now i want to make a song for today and tomorrow do you have genres you prefer? languages? i can dance to anything that can expand my dreamscape
i daydream about living in southwest philly with my best friends in a house full of dogs and cats and plants and
herbs
i daydream about having a job that makes me feel like happiness is more than money but can be achieved without
going without sleep for something i don’t believe in
i daydream about us but i want to hear your dreams first so i can see if we have similar color palettes
i want to paint every day and night with our summer shades: honeyed sunlight skin because like i said
we’re glow in the dark and even prettier in daylight even prettier when survival isn’t a question
even prettier when we don’t have to explain ourselves to people who see us as ghosts
***
airplane mode with the fairy-lights on so i become a hazy gem in the mirror
airplane mode so i put my friends on discord’s speaker my laptop balancing on the toilet seat
airplane mode plus i temporarily deleted instagram and twitter because i love myself
airplane mode face mask on to get those blackheads out while the conditioner sets into my follicles
airplane mode because i get calls from people who haven’t contacted me in years or only to see if i am where i say i am airplane mode because i love clear skin and i love black girls and i love seeing black girls smile
airplane mode because black women seem to keep disappearing and the ones who map their flight
are too comfortable in their homes
airplane mode for the weak links who disappoint me but it’s all good we made it this far without you
airplane mode because prayers go up clearer with no distractions airplane mode but i can listen to my music undisturbed until i want to be reached
airplane mode but my sisters can text me whenever they want
airplane mode but i lied i have my phone on just in case one of my friends need me
airplane mode but i still hear the voices of my past selves i want to become someone they’re proud of
airplane mode but i’m lonely/i want love/i want cuddles/sleepy-more-than-just-hand-holding
kind of love but in the era of corona i’m more single than even several months ago airplane mode but we can listen to this playlist all night
airplane mode because i’m preparing a place for you in my arms
airplane mode so i put my friends on discord’s speaker my laptop balancing on the toilet seat
airplane mode plus i temporarily deleted instagram and twitter because i love myself
airplane mode face mask on to get those blackheads out while the conditioner sets into my follicles
airplane mode because i get calls from people who haven’t contacted me in years or only to see if i am where i say i am airplane mode because i love clear skin and i love black girls and i love seeing black girls smile
airplane mode because black women seem to keep disappearing and the ones who map their flight
are too comfortable in their homes
airplane mode for the weak links who disappoint me but it’s all good we made it this far without you
airplane mode because prayers go up clearer with no distractions airplane mode but i can listen to my music undisturbed until i want to be reached
airplane mode but my sisters can text me whenever they want
airplane mode but i lied i have my phone on just in case one of my friends need me
airplane mode but i still hear the voices of my past selves i want to become someone they’re proud of
airplane mode but i’m lonely/i want love/i want cuddles/sleepy-more-than-just-hand-holding
kind of love but in the era of corona i’m more single than even several months ago airplane mode but we can listen to this playlist all night
airplane mode because i’m preparing a place for you in my arms
***
i’m sad/i’m happy
i’m crying/i’m smiling
there’s no real answers/i can tell you right now
there’s only the world/there’s only us and us i want our lives to get their chance to last so i made this playlist as long as possible if living’s a series of songs i hope that we can keep singing even when we’re sick of our voices
i’m crying/i’m smiling
there’s no real answers/i can tell you right now
there’s only the world/there’s only us and us i want our lives to get their chance to last so i made this playlist as long as possible if living’s a series of songs i hope that we can keep singing even when we’re sick of our voices
***
i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want i want i want i
want i want i want i want
want i want i want i want
About Dynas Johnson
Dynas Johnson was the vice president and an editor for SONKU, a university-founded organization for BIPOC creatives. She has poems in Vagabond City Lit, Sea Foam Mag, Memoir Mixtapes, Mixed Mag, The Aurora Journal, and others. Right now she’s very into indie, funk, playing Minecraft, and watching craft videos on Youtube. Find her on Twitter @Dynasthepoet.