Poetry: “my friends are asleep and i can’t get up off the floor” by Trinity Dearborn

my friends are asleep and i can’t get up off the floor

i make it to the kitchen and sit down
because standing becomes too much
my friends were upstairs
i call for help
a mom helps me up and makes me a cheesy biscuit

i oftentimes feel like a burden
my conditions are still new
              i’ve never had to be less independent before
i am still getting used to it

after
not eating at regular times
not sleeping at regular times
(but who does at a sleepover?)

i am dizzy and lightheaded still half in a dream
sunlight waking me up partly aware i need to eat
            to become a human being again
still trying to figure out
            how to make my hands work again

my anxiety about asking for help
is amplified by a boy who thought
i was lying to get his fucking attention
            as if i am not already weighed down by the idea of needing assistance

my friends have been nothing but perfect
yet i am still afraid to ask for their hands

i’m getting better at it
they are wonderful and oh so loving

i have to remember
they will not lean in to bite me as they help me up

About Trinity Dearborn

Trinity Dearborn (they/them) graduated in 2020 from Iowa State University with a degree in Women’s and Gender Studies. They want to be your queer cousin that sporadically gives hit or miss advice. They have stories that almost seem too wild to be true, yet somehow, they’re still relatable. Messy, but it’s a fun time. https://linktr.ee/trinitycd